Missing you… but who is you?

Sometimes I cry because I miss you.

But I don’t even know you!

Who is you? 🙂

Maybe I’m crying because I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to meet you.

But to meet you isn’t to know you.

Maybe I’m crying because of missed opportunities… travelling…being so close to your house and not going to visit.

But to visit your house isn’t to know you.

Maybe I’m crying because I love your music, your dancing, your face.

But to love your music, dancing and face isn’t to know you.

So why am I crying?

It’s the frustration… the frustration of wanting to have you in my life and not being able to have that… yet (there’s always hope)

It’s the frustration of wanting a knowing glance from you, a smile, a hi directed my way and not experiencing that… yet.

It’s the frustration of wanting the feeling of the warmth of your body beside mine…. just because you are near. (no sexual references here)… yet

(HAHAHA I really was kidding about the sexual reference yet… just thought it was funny to continue the trend.)

It’s the frustration of knowing I could be a great non-judgmental, accepting friend and not trying hard enough before to break through the barricades to you.

But even so, even if I were ever to get the chance to share a glance, a laugh, to have conversation under the stars, to feel your presence next to me, to be a friend…

Would I know who is you?

Right now you are the man I’ve conjured up in my mind.

Some things may be accurate and some things are probably nothing like you.

Some things I probably haven’t even imagined.

In any case, over the past almost 6 months, I have learned to love you in another way.

I love you because of the sacrifices you’ve made for us, the fans.  I love you because of your dedication to your craft.  I love you because you are a child of God.  I love you because you are human.

I love you.

Well I thought putting these thoughts out there would help me feel better… but I don’t.

I won’t feel better until I know you are alive.

If that day never comes… I’m at peace with having a little piece of my heart missing.


~ by lilwendy on December 20, 2009.

6 Responses to “Missing you… but who is you?”

  1. Dare I post a little on the draw for this entry, but more and more it is less and less about the illusion of the man than it is all about the divine order of his life that we have been fortunate enough to witness. Who knew a little “soul singer” from back in the day would turn out to command such an impact on our lives? God knew! Every night I pray for the ultimate man to step into my life. I keep faith attached to my prayers, but I shutter to think, is there anyone who can outshine MJ who has walked this Earth, and what does that say about my prayers and my faith…nothing, because dreams really do still come true:)

  2. So beautiful

  3. Same for me, I love this man so much…so much! Thank you

  4. you poem said the words of my soul wanted to say
    thank you so much.
    love & light

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